Geezer Tips&Tricks #1 -- Scan this!

This is the first in a never-ending series (well, it might end when I kick the bucket) of Geezer Tips&Tricks to help make your life easier.  And if in the process it also aggravates the young and the restless, so much the better.  

Today’s lesson involves the grocery store, but it could be any place where you simply want to save a few bucks but aren’t about to fool around with all that techno-crap that some marketing idiot dreamed up to justify his six-figure salary.

Case in point: the special discounts on some items that only apply if you download the store app and use it to scan a bar code on the shelf with your alleged smart phone, and then…well I don’t know,  I never got that far because the dadgum thing wouldn’t work.  Which is why I deleted the aggravating app from my phone. But I still want that $2 off on the paper plates, and another $2 on the dish detergent. And as a loyal customer, I deserve it.  Plus, it’s blatant discrimination against techno-challenged seniors.

So here’s what I did.  As I approached my turn at checkout, I noticed that the checker looked like one of those young, ambitious types majoring in ‘puter science who's punching a register part-time.  (And bless her for supporting my Social Security.)  So I randomly pushed a bunch of buttons on my phone and sent the screen into a “loading” spin cycle that wouldn’t quit.

Then I went into my own slow-and-pitiful mode.  “Say young lady, there’s $2 off on  these two items at the shelf, but my phone won’t let me scan it in – can you help me out?” Of course she tried to show me how to find the app. But the little wheel icon kept spinning  and spinning. 

Meanwhile, the line behind us kept growing and growing with younger people in a hurry to catch their bus home, or whatever.  I was especially pleased that a young mother with two fidgety toddlers stood just behind me.  The more everyone rolled their eyes, the wider that clueless smile spread across my geezer face.

In short order, I had my discounts, sans app, and was on my way. That nice young checker even forgot to charge me for the plastic bags. When she graduates from ‘puter school, I'm hoping she'll replace that idiot who came up with the  bar code app. Maybe he can find work as a grocery bagger.